ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
50% drunk capacity currently
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
