I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize
