Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Please don't give away my fajitas
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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