can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
