I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Can I color on your dick again?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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