Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
