you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Just invented taco cereal.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
