6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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