I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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