Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
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