ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Randomize
