Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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