8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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