he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
My ATM looks so different sober.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I love you.
Bad choice
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
