Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
