If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
This baby is an asshole
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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