Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
