It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
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Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
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