he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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