Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Never underestimate the power of titties
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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