i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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