The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
