oh god the rape fog is back!
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
