does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
