I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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