hell yes lets make some ravioli
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
