He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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