I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Randomize
