Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
