I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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