My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
