Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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