dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
