she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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