Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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