Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize