I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
