Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
