Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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