Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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