In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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