You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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