he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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