whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
