Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Randomize
