More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
