I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize