You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize