yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
