I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
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