I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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