Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
