so that wasnt chicken after all
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Randomize
