dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Randomize