I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
