She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
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Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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