I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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