Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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