Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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