If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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