Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
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No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
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It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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