On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
