She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
