Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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