i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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