areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
