i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
