i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
