she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
