Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
