its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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