He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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